Motivational Speaker Cheryl Carr
By Cheryl Carr
Prov. 31: 25- “She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come”
Stank attitude; miserable; messy; crazy; bitter; insecure-won’t speak; talks too much; can’t get along with her for nothing; mean; mouthy; gossipy; hateful and angry. Words used to describe women (self included). Emotionally out of control women– unable to walk in God given strength and dignity. Their poor behavior is messing it up for us all.
Being an emotional creature is laughable and frowned upon in society which is to negate my entire femininity and I’m so tired of it! It’s our problem to solve. Because as women we are naturally wired as responders (what we take in we reproduce after its kind) that indeed makes us prone to irrational emotion first, logic second. We relish this as an excuse to act up and out when things don’t happen as we want. Let’s face it- we treat others badly.
Being emotionally out of control doesn’t necessarily mean you’re acting out either. Storing simmering pain inside like a dam about to burst is just as bad as the “can’t keep it in” behavior. Perhaps worst, extracting a high price. Being emotionally controlled needs to be discussed without excuses, my sisters. Isn’t it high time we begin to consistently express ourselves in emotionally mature ways with our God, one another, our men and our children?
Men often give themselves a pass on monogamy; women have a tendency to give an acceptance pass on being out of control emotionally. Men say “I’m just a man, I can’t help myself” when they’re unable to stay faithful. After a manic episode of full blast emotion we tend to say to others and ourselves “I can’t help myself. I’m a woman.” Beloved, self control isn’t gender based and just like old boy could keep his zipper up if he wants to— you can keep from doing the fool, squashing, eating, shopping, sexing or drinking your emotions if you want to. I’m not talking about faking it either. Displaying strength and dignity on the outside while tempering and submitting your emotions to self control is not an easy thing to do, but it is possible.
Girlfriends, if we’re unable to express ourselves maturely when in high mode emotionally or if we’re there so often we run the risk of not being not paid much attention to when we are in real need of emotional rescue. This is dangerous for our mental well being! Life hurts and wounds—we need to express what we feel, but if you’ve spent all your emotional intelligence and energy on small things, the big things will take you under and the people you’ve “emoted” all over will not be there for you when you really need them to. You’ve all ready worn them to a nub. Here are some suggestions to start you on a path to becoming more emotionally controlled.
Silence is healing when not concealing: As a woman of faith my I’ve conditioned my first response when emotions run high to silent prayer. I will not speak much when I’m upset, telling others “I may say the wrong thing because I’m feeling this so I’m just going to be quiet.” Never concealing my emotions, just realizing only God can supply me the strength I need to show strength and dignity when it’s not easily done.
Every emotion felt does not demand display. Feelings are precious. Why wear your precious things on a sleeve? Keep things back. Not in false pretense but recognizing this person may not deserve that piece of your mind.
Every opportunity does not return: The practice of consideration (careful attention to a matter) and consistency will prevent you from ending up on the vain regret side of most situations. Never take for granted you can just act like that and say those words to someone…that could be your last time seeing them alive, never take for granted you can burn a bridge even once. It may not open for passage but that once. Consistently keep that top of mind and consider it true in every circumstance and encounter with others.
Beloved, what we don’t confront won’t be changed. I’ve seen way too many displays from out of control emotional women to last me a lifetime. Girlfriend, my deepest desire is that we are always secure, emotionally controlled women of strength and dignity.
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This week’s message is authored by Ms. Cheryl Carr. She is the founder of CONFIDENCE. CHANGE. CALM PROGRAMS ™ and is a speaker, writer, trainer, coach— Cheryl’s life focuses on being a powerful and motivating expert in leadership, emerging media and networking through her ministry and company ARETE1 International. She is also the Sister Buddy Group Captain for the Dallas, Texas iask “Sister Buddy Group” chapter.
